to be positive

i guess i am a great girl, but i just do something wrong, and sometimes too indifferent to others.
in this kind of situation, how can i express myself totally without any hesitation, and how can i be gentle and kind with the one i care.
i have found that i am forgetting some stuff as time goes by, something that should be memoriable as i thought some time ago.
at the temple when we had a trip to the northwest of China, a Taoist told me something that i should remember, that sometimes i had a great manner to others that i may even get hurt. and another Taoist said, i would have a great life and a great husband when i graduate. maybe deep in my heart, i don't think they are right, and i don't believe that, either. nevertheless, i want you, truthfully, loyally, and faithfully. it seems so intense, right? but, can it last forever? i'm not sure.
i just need time to forget missing you, and i need some else to fill the gap that you caused.
i long for your return, and we need to talk.
i think you would come back here, your friends are here, and your memories are here, please don't throw them away.

anyhow, i have to be great. i have to be positive, passionate, independent, beautiful, and being in a good mood to meet you again.

is that gonna happen that we meet in shallow but we understand deeply?