Once again, someone told me : you can not always treat yourselfe like a child. it is kind of strange that he just tell me that--we are not so close, and i don't think that he understands me well . But, what he said , makes sence.
I always want to act like an adult that i can handle everything in my life properly , but my parents just do not believed in me , especially my father. somethimes , i am just scared to take my father's call. it's nice for him to be just a listener , and not control my life and make decision for me. i told them that i have been grown up , and i really unsatisfied with what they want me to be like--or i just want to bahave against their wishes?i don't know.
but actually , i am not mature enough--i always chase after time , and when the deadline turns up, it almost drives me crazy. i used to complain a lot , when i meet some troubles . after all the frustraing time, i become alive again without mentioning any of the hard periods , which makes me believe that i can deal with any kinds of difficulties, but that is not true.
i have the courage to go just straight forward no matter what is going to happen , but i always feel terrible about problems , and fragile . i am not able to prevent the bad situation happening although i can try to do it.
fight , i'm not young anymore , it's time to take responsibilities.
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