Once again, someone told me : you can not always treat yourselfe like a child. it is kind of strange that he just tell me that--we are not so close, and i don't think that he understands me well . But, what he said , makes sence.
I always want to act like an adult that i can handle everything in my life properly , but my parents just do not believed in me , especially my father. somethimes , i am just scared to take my father's call. it's nice for him to be just a listener , and not control my life and make decision for me. i told them that i have been grown up , and i really unsatisfied with what they want me to be like--or i just want to bahave against their wishes?i don't know.
but actually , i am not mature enough--i always chase after time , and when the deadline turns up, it almost drives me crazy. i used to complain a lot , when i meet some troubles . after all the frustraing time, i become alive again without mentioning any of the hard periods , which makes me believe that i can deal with any kinds of difficulties, but that is not true.
i have the courage to go just straight forward no matter what is going to happen , but i always feel terrible about problems , and fragile . i am not able to prevent the bad situation happening although i can try to do it.
fight , i'm not young anymore , it's time to take responsibilities.
2008年3月13日星期四
2008年3月8日星期六
writing to you
well ,i just want to find a way to express myself and my thoughts right now . maybe it's just rush into my head , and i am not able to handle it . or maybe in the future , i will totally forget the feeling i have at this moment , and i will make laught at myself . well , it's ok . i just want to say something .
You make me have some illusions about you--you are tender , and care about me . but actually , we don't contact each other frequently. i even don't know you much , but i am just this kind of girl who's always dreaming a lot -- what kind of personality he has , who he is getting along with , what he is thinking about ... it's absolutely my fantacy, and maybe you are not the one i thought.
well , let me have some dreams . but once a again , when i am thinking about graduation, j just feel lost that maybe i will never see you again -- you will go aborad , and i will stay . or maybe when we meet , it has been a few decads , and what will we say . it's kind of funny , right?
fate just make fun of us , or only me . well , i really want to know whether there is some tiny things between us . and i have to pretend that i have no feeling about you , and move away my eyesight , smiling at you .
well , i admit that i am kind of perceptual ... i will just thinking about you in my own space , and i wish we can still chat , talk , know other's situation after graduation.
You make me have some illusions about you--you are tender , and care about me . but actually , we don't contact each other frequently. i even don't know you much , but i am just this kind of girl who's always dreaming a lot -- what kind of personality he has , who he is getting along with , what he is thinking about ... it's absolutely my fantacy, and maybe you are not the one i thought.
well , let me have some dreams . but once a again , when i am thinking about graduation, j just feel lost that maybe i will never see you again -- you will go aborad , and i will stay . or maybe when we meet , it has been a few decads , and what will we say . it's kind of funny , right?
fate just make fun of us , or only me . well , i really want to know whether there is some tiny things between us . and i have to pretend that i have no feeling about you , and move away my eyesight , smiling at you .
well , i admit that i am kind of perceptual ... i will just thinking about you in my own space , and i wish we can still chat , talk , know other's situation after graduation.
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